Weekly Prompt 2.154

We've made it to another Friday! It's the weekend and I've got a new stack of books to work through. That is my favorite combination. Speaking of favorites, this was my favorite writing prompt for the week. Post your response below if you'd like to create one also! Once again, this one is from Writers Write:

“Write a paragraph where a character apologizes without using the words ‘apologize’, ‘regret’, or ‘sorry’.”

Dearest Emily,

A cloud of discontent has settled upon our relationship and I understand that I am the one to shoulder this blame. I recognize that I have hurt you and I desperately wish that I could go back in time and put a filter over my mouth. Please understand that this mistake will never happen again and I will do all that I can to make this up to you. When I said, “You snore like a banshee,” what I meant to say was, “Baby, you’re so talented. I’ve never met another person who could sing through their nose while they slept. And to be able to sustain that intriguing melody all throughout the night is nothing less than a sign of greatness.” Truly, I bow to your genius and can’t wait to spend the rest of my life listening to your nightly nasal serenade. Do you take requests?

All my love,

Bill

Writing Prompts

Hold on to your hats, I'm about to tell you something without entering our share circle.

I enjoy writing.

While I wait for you to pick yourself up from the shock of it all, I'll just move this post along. I'm learning that there are things in this life that I don't care for at all. I'm looking at you, calamari, goat cheese, rooms without windows, folks who don't use blinkers, and crowds of people. There are also things I adore. Hello, hot tea, reading chairs, good books, laughter, stargazing, family, dogs sleeping at my feet...this list is extensive. For the sake of saving your eyes, I'll just let that end there.

I've recently discovered that writing energizes me. I can get absolutely nothing substantial or noteworthy accomplished during my day, but if I've added a few words to my book or worked on a short story, I will walk away feeling like I showed that day who's boss. I think we have different skill sets and abilities that make us feel fully engaged in life, something that takes living from ordinary to abundant in record time. I hope you know what that looks like for you. If not, why not make this the year that you discover what makes your heart light and your spirit zing?

I decided to really focus on writing this year to, hopefully, improve my craft and get back into the swing of things. Each morning I'm using a  writing prompt from Writers Write. I thought I would begin posting one at the end of the week to pry me out of my comfort zone. Somebody grab a crowbar....

Here is the prompt and my response:

“She knew about the strawberries and the vanilla pods, but she couldn’t remember why she needed to know.”

It tickled the back of her memory. The juicy red berries and the soothing scent of the vanilla brought a sense of comfort. In another life these meant something. In another life she would check ingredients three times before beginning to slice and measure, chop and prep. Not that she remembered that life now. Muddled thoughts ushered in frustrations and fears she never wanted to share. It was a weakness, a failure on her part, to admit that things were slipping. Things that should have a permanent hold on her, faces of loved ones, and places once known were slowly falling away. She felt the tears well up in her eyes as she stared at the kitchen counter with the chipped tile and dingy grout. Today would not be the day she let the forgetting begin. She cleared her mind of the jumbled confusion and reached a gnarled hand towards the basket of berries. If nothing else, her hands would remember. They would remember for her when memory faltered. Slowly, slowly, they took over and began to slice and create what she had forgotten.

Will You Be My Best Friend?

A funny thing happened to me on the way to February. I suddenly remembered that I had a blog. That’s me acknowledging the lack of recent posts, but not quite apologizing. Unless you want me to. All requests for apologies must be sent in writing and submitted to the address listed on my website. Wait a second. I have a website?! A funny thing happened to me on the way to February…

For those of you interested, I’ve got a quick Rise of the Seer update. It still hasn’t been published. I’m waiting…still waiting…on the copy for the back of the book. Those little words have to be just right. I’ve submitted suggestions and am currently awaiting the final product. After that I’ll see interior layouts and approve the cover. That’s it. I want to give a release date. I don’t have a precise one yet other than to say, soon. I don’t think there is anyone on earth who wants this book to be finished more than I do. When the publishing date draws close I’ll post a countdown so you can prepare for how hard to party and acquire the appropriate amount of confetti.

I approve of this level of celebration and confetti. 

On that happy note, let’s talk about becoming friends with books. As with most relationships and interactions, I know I don’t approach things from a typical perspective. And I can’t be trusted in a bookstore without a budget. Inevitably books just jump off of the shelves and into my hands. I’ve mentioned before our house rule is that no new books may be purchased if there is no longer room available on your assigned “to-read” shelf. Here’s a current look at my shelf for those curious:

Still plenty of room to work with!

Some of these books I’ve started and placed back on the shelf because I’m always on the lookout for the perfect book. I don’t know how it is for you, but when I begin a book I recognize that we’re going to spend some time together. We’re forming a relationship. The length and depth of that relationship is entirely up to the book. I really don’t have any control over it.

I will say that the last couple of books I’ve read have turned out to be acquaintances only. We hung out for a little while, but nothing progressed and they’ve ended up in my trade back bin. Usually within the first chapter or so I can get a general sense of how our relationship will proceed. I’m not often wrong. I will confess here, that if we are still on an acquaintance level friendship and I’m more than halfway through the book, skimming will begin to happen and sometimes, on a rare and unhappy occasion for both of us, a clean break will occur. Yes, a couple of books have ended up in the trade back bin before completion. When the relationship isn’t right, it’s best to part ways.

Sometimes though…

Sometimes…

Something magical happens in the pages of a book.

The story grabs you and says, “Hey, I think I know you.”

And as you read it the more you feel that pull, like this one could swallow you entirely…and you wouldn’t mind one bit.

A line grabs you and you relate to it on some cosmic level in a way that doesn’t happen all that often. The words wash over you and you never knew you needed them strung together in that particular order until now.

And then you realize that this book could quite easily become one of your best friends.

And there is no way this one would ever mingle with acquaintances in the trade back bin.

But you’re only 14 pages in, so you have to restrain yourself so you don’t appear too eager. And you tell yourself, “Play it cool, Autry. Play it cool. There’s a lot of story left.” But you’re already secretly planning the next time you’ll curl up in your reading blanket with a cup of tea and your not-yet-but-soon-hopefully best friend. Now, I didn’t want to say anything because we’re so early in the relationship, but I *may* have found another best friend. I’m hopeful that things will keep rolling along like they have for the last 37 pages. I know it’s early, but I’m tired of meeting acquaintances every evening. So if you need me this weekend, I’ll be getting to know this book a little more. 

I even gave this book a bona fide bookmark. No old receipt or meaningless scrap of paper for this new friend!

Notice the little glint of sunlight illuminating the cover? This means something. I know it.

Happy reading to you and yours, my fellow bookworms! Here’s hoping your next book is one you will meet again in another few years with just as much excitement and joy as your first meeting.

Rise of the Seer Update

I am happy to report that every line has been written, each word is in place, and all edits have been revised. Rise of the Seer is officially out of my hands! Let us all exhale. Or at least me because this story needs to be released so I can move on. It is more than time for us to go our separate ways.

What's left and when will you be able to read it?

Excellent questions!

Now I'm waiting for the interior layout and cover to be designed. I'm also waiting to see if there is one aspect of the cover that will be able to happen. Once I find that out, I'll let you guys in on it!
This process can take about 8 weeks, or longer if I drag my feet. Trust me when I say, I have no intention of letting that happen! I haven't felt the freedom to sit down and just WRITE since the editing and revising of Rise started. It's the writing that I adore and I'm eager to get back to it.

To answer when it will be out, I'm not sure yet. I'm supposed to hear from my design team within the next few days, so I should have a better idea of an anticipated release day. But, it is eminent, my friends! I think balloons will be involved. Or at the very least a confetti crown. Could one of my crafty friends (you know who you are) begin working on that? Thanks.

What am I working on now?

Here is the part I'm not sure about. While all of the Ransom escapades are fresh in my mind, it would be nice to go ahead and write the third book in the series, Reign of the Judges. It's currently sitting at a piddly ten pages. However, I might devote some time to short stories for a little while to get myself back into the swing of writing. Who doesn't love a good short story? Hello, lunch break!

Eventually I will move beyond the Ransom Series. As of now it will be a total of four books. After that, who knows? I'm just happy to be in a place where I have options available. Keep creating, my friends! Bake that cake, play that guitar, sing that song, paint that masterpiece, take that picture, perform in that play, sew that dress...just create. It doesn't have to be for a living. If that happens, awesome. That's great. Regardless of whether or not your creativity is tied to your livelihood, just find some time to do the thing that makes you thrive. And if you ever feel like sharing that creativity, I'm more than happy to show it off here. Seriously. Message me and we'll see what we can do. We've got this one life and it should be lived with passion and abundance!

Kicking Fear in the Teeth

All is quiet on the writing front. It’s not supposed to be, but it is. I’m supposed to be going over interior layouts and choosing fonts and designing what my second book should look like. I’m supposed to be going over marketing questions and figuring out, once again, if I’m working within the appropriate genre. I’m supposed to be talking about it, getting word out, and promoting, promoting, promoting this novel I’ve spent two years of my life preparing. I know these things.

So where is Rise?

The same place it has been for the past month. On my computer just waiting for me to take another step. It’s 99.9% finished. So why aren’t things moving along?

Because I’m afraid.

What if they rip it apart?
What if it's not as good as it could be?
What if I missed something?

I have a trip to Boston coming up soon. I don’t know what it is, exactly, but when I heard my husband was headed there for a business trip, I just needed to go too. After he booked the flight I had to go into another room and make myself breathe because I was suddenly overwhelmed with all that it would mean.

Flying in a plane with other people and no way out.

Wandering around by myself in an unfamiliar city.

Figuring out where to eat and being okay with sitting at a dining table alone.

What if I get lost?

What if someone tries to talk to me?

What if…

What if…

What if…

It’s exhausting.

I decided a few years ago that I will never let fear prevent me from doing something I want to do. There’s just too much life out there to experience to live it any other way. And while my fears may seem silly to others, I don’t need to have anyone else validate them to know that they are struggles for me. Don’t we all have that thing that hinders us? That thing that pops up just to remind us that we’re human? The thing that has the potential to keep us from truly letting go and thriving?

So you and I are going to take all of those “What ifs” and kick them in the teeth. Whatever the thing is that holds you back…or rears its ugly head just when you’re beginning to feel brave enough to try something new. We’re going to tell it to take a hike.

We’re not perfect people, so why do some of us try so hard for perfection? I think one of the worst fears we wrestle with is fear of failure. Everything we attempt, everything we want to try is polluted by the nagging doubts that want to defeat us before we even begin. If I happen to miss a word or have a double space in a sentence in a novel of 196,000+ words, it’s not going to be the end of the world. Really. Failure doesn’t have to be permanently branded across our hearts. It’s not fatal and it’s not some omnipotent word that gets to govern how we live. No way.

I’m shaking off all of those pesky “What ifs” and trying to move forward with Rise of the Seer. I’ll save my fears for things actually worth fearing. Like clown sharks.

A Little Bit Darker Now

Hello there! I’d mentioned a few blogs back that I would try to shift the content of this blog a little bit, and then I dropped off the face of the earth. That’s how it goes over here. I didn’t really leave the planet, but I’ve been working on publishing Rise of the Seer. It’s taken up most of my focus these days.

No, I did not get lost in space. Danger, fellow bookworms! Danger!

I also mentioned that I would always let you know what was for dinner. At this exact moment, I’m not sure. I can tell you that I’ve been obsessed with something I’m calling a “Green Goblin” this past week.

I've slayed many a goblin this week. Spinach trembles before me.

For those interested in an update, I honestly don’t have a definitive publication date as of right now. All I can say for certain is that it will be out before the end of the year. I have an anticipated release date, but until I know if that’s really possible, I won’t say when it is just yet. I know I’m doing all of this wrong. I’m supposed to build up a level of frenzied excitement in the months/days prior to the release, but I’m a new author trying to figure all of this out while still managing a home and family life. Suffice to say, I don’t always know if the day will be one where I get to sit down and focus solely on my work, or if I’ll have to drop everything and take a kid to the dentist to have a broken tooth fixed. Life. It always keeps us guessing.

Now that I have the **FINAL** copy (Can we please just pause here and throw hands up? Maybe shake or wave them a little bit?) of Rise in my hands, I wanted to say a few things about it. Keep in mind, as I was writing Ransom of the Healer I didn’t know it was going to be a book. That wasn’t the case with this one. I started writing Rise in 2013 and knew the basic plot of where I wanted the story to go. Things were mapped out and moving along. And then life happened.

Have you ever been in that place where you just don’t think you can handle one more thing? And then that one more thing happens anyway? That’s what last year looked like. The amount of pain and loss was staggering and I carried it with me daily. Grief and sorrow are heavy. So very heavy. If you’ve been there, you know. You know that it’s the first thing you notice when you wake up. You know how you think it’s lessened marginally, that you’ve finally started to heal, until a word or thought rips the wound back open and you’re right back where you started. It is a place where we function. That’s it. We’re not thriving there. We’re just making it through the day. That wasn’t where I wanted to be. I needed to get out from under the weight of everything trying to steal my joy.

So I went back to the thing that has always brought clarity and reprieve.

I wrote.

I wrote through the pain and hurt.

I wrote until the things that I no longer wanted to carry were there in front of me, on the screen, instead of constantly sitting on my chest.

Why am I sharing this? Because you’re (hopefully) about to read some of the words from that time. Rise of the Seer was exactly what I needed to work on while climbing out of the valley. It’s amazing how things work out that way sometimes, isn’t it? I already had the story in place, but after 2014, I had the emotion to add to it. If I’m going to hurt, there is absolutely going to be something beautiful to take away from it. 

If you are currently in a valley yourself-in a place you don't want to be- please, keep climbing. Keep going. I don't want to trivialize your circumstances or pretend to know what your struggle feels like. I just want to encourage you to take another step. You and your story are valuable. And your story isn't over yet. Just keep climbing. 

Authenticity and What’s for Dinner?

I am sipping cold peach tea, sitting here in my shorts and tank top, and have my office fan blasting on high. The only true indications that summer is almost officially over are that the throw pillows on the couch remain unmoved during the day and the fan is the loudest sound in the house. I don’t know about you, but I’m ready to get back to work. Today, anyway.

While blogging hasn’t been a high priority for me this summer, I have been quietly doing research on other blogs and social media outlets. Which reminded me, once again, why I’m not a huge fan of social media. There are some odd ducks out there. I wanted to see what the common thread was for the people who have bigger platforms and a larger outreach. The thing that I discovered is that those people tend to live life with their followers. I mean every aspect is potentially available on full display. If you wanted to, you could spend the day with them from their morning cup of coffee until the end of their twinkle lighted evenings, complete with an amazing sunset. Is that what we really want?

I also noticed a trend towards some people being more open and honest about the struggles or hardships they might be facing, but of course that is often accompanied by a picture of a perfect mantle display or a picturesque shot of a mug of coffee on a patio. Complete with an amazing sunrise. I have coffee mugs, and I have sunsets. I suppose I could let you see them. If you really wanted to.

This is me. Drinking coffee in my car in a safely parked position. 

Please don’t think I’m mocking them. Really. I’m not much of a mocker. What I see is that humans are drawn towards community. Even those of us who struggle with being around others. We still need that connection to other people trudging along, just like we are. That’s one reason I enjoy literature so much. Instant community. One story can take us to the same place, although our experiences there will be vastly different. But there are times when my nose is not in a book and I’m left trying to figure out what to say to others around me. For the most part, my blog is about writing and reading…and authory stuff. It’s my business…and I love words. Written words in particular. Sometimes I want to write the things I’m thinking about and they aren’t business related. This happens quite often and 

I’ve been thinking about shifting the content here a little bit. I can’t promise that we’ll spend the day together, but I can always let you know what I’m having for dinner. Tonight is meat muffins, baked sweet potatoes, and fresh green beans.*

This was actually a time lapse photo of Wolverine snikting the potatoes.
He's just so fast this was the best shot I could get.

It’s a challenge to find the balance between personal and professional. I don’t think every aspect of our lives needs to be on display for anyone to see. I want to live in the moments without recording them. I don’t want a backlog of pictures sitting on my devices taking up memory space. I want the memories. I want the experiences full on, in real time, in blazing color right in front of me. Not through a screen. But if sharing one or two of those moments can help someone find a connection that validates the intrinsic need to feel included, I can certainly manage that. Because at the end of the day, when the words are put to rest, it’s the people who matter most and the stories they have to share. It’s difficult to share those stories without a relationship. So, here’s to a new season of interactions and to seeing the stories of those around us. Because there will always be stories to share. 

*I always admire the people who follow the asterisk. In the spirit of authenticity, I should let you know that this is not a picture of my dinner. I started this blog yesterday and that's what I ate last night. What you see here is actually a picture of my lunch today, complete with leftover baked beans from Labor Day. Also, I've changed my clothes since yesterday, so I'm no longer in shorts and a tank top. So basically, this whole "authentic" blog is built on a premise of lies. I don't know what this means for us going forward but I'm optimistic we can work things out.