January Status Update

Happy New Year!

I hope these past six days of 2017 have been everything you hoped for. If you are a resolutioner, you can do it! (Whatever it is that has made your list this year.) If you don't make resolutions, the pressure's off! It's all downhill from here.

I'm personally excited about the upcoming year because I've got some fun projects lined up for myself. I'm not ready to say what they are just yet, but my hope is that they will, eventually, bring a smile to someone's face. That's pretty much my hope for any project I work on.

I've got plans for the blog this year as well, and I'm looking forward to (hopefully) helping it find some sort of identity. It's never a bad thing to know who you are or what you're about.

My "January Status Update" is that I'm happily writing, drawing, and creating over here. There is even talk of a Rise of the Seer birthday party in the works. Who doesn't love a party? (Me...because of the introvert/safety bubble thing. But I'm willing to make that bubble smaller for a day if it means seeing friendly faces and getting to hear new stories.) This guy is definitely ready to party:

His name is Howard. I hope you see more of him this year. 

I do hope that this will be a good year for you. Hold fast to that optimism and sense of a fresh start that January 1 can bring. There are good days ahead, my friends.

Ch-ch-changes Ahead

Who needs a break? Show of hands. I had to drop mine back down to the keys so I could finish typing. Also, I would like to point out that I looked up pictures for “changes” to accompany my post and this is what popped up:

Interpret as you will.

There were also pics of people changing light bulbs. If you want me to add one of those, just let me know and I can make that happen for you. For the record, I use CanStockPhoto and there is never a shortage of material. But that’s not what this blog post is about.

I stepped away from the nation of Facebook for a little bit and it was one of the very best things I have done for myself lately. I’m an indie author, which means I’m also a small business owner. That was never, ever, ever, ever, on my radar. For almost three years now I’ve had to figure out how to promote my books and get myself out there because…I’m it. There isn’t a marketing department or big publishing company behind me to help with anything. Unless you count these guys:

 I enrolled in webinars and conference calls to help get a better idea of what on earth I should be doing. I came across some helpful people and ideas, and some who weren’t so helpful. For the most part, there’s a similar business model that they abide by to help businesses gain more exposure. It involves posting on Facebook just about every hour, or at the very least, a certain amount of times per day. There are also specific types of posts to post at those various times. Post, post, post. Honestly this does work if you’re willing to follow that model…and if you have enough time to devote to putting together content for every. single. post. There are people whose sole responsibility is to manage social media presence. I tried asking one of the squirrels to take care of that for me, but every potential post revolved around acorns or tips for evading mockingbird attacks. Interesting if you’re a squirrel, but for a human? Not so much.

It certainly doesn’t help matters that I’m a socially awkward introvert. I don’t say this in a disparaging way, but one of acceptance. I understand that if you initiate a conversation with me before I’m ready, I won’t have complete control of what pops out of my mouth. I also have problems not doling out inadvertent fist bumps.

All of that to say…I struggle with engaging an audience. It’s not at all that I don’t want to hear from you, it’s that I honestly don’t know how to get the ball rolling on conversations because it is so far outside my comfort zone. I drew a diagram in case you need a visual:

What it all came down to was focusing more on the business/marketing/social media side of things than actually engaging in the creative process. Most days I just ended up feeling frustrated with my meager accomplishments and pitiful attempts at writing something worth reading. When I realized that Facebook was sapping my creative drive, I knew a break was needed.

So what happened when I stepped away from the screen and business side of things? I felt the pressure dissipate and got back to creating again. It’s been wonderful. I’m not saying Facebook is bad or something I won’t use. It’s too convenient for building a community. I am saying that some of us have more difficulties than others with the whole concept of social media and putting ourselves out there. Sometimes we just need a minute to regroup.

To sum things up, I’m still stepping away a little longer. I’m also writing, rebuilding, and trying new avenues to tell stories. I'll have some exciting news to share soon!

Freestyle Friday: Gunther

Sometimes my heart feels a little lost and my sense of direction gets trapped inside a brown paper bag. That paper bag is on the shelf of an old gas station that will not accept credit or debit cards. The Doritos are stale, but the beer is ice cold. And Gunther works the counter where he supplements his meager paycheck with an ever steady stream of dry roasted peanuts. He gave up the daily jelly beans because he read somewhere that peanuts were better for his health. If you ask him, he won't be able to recall where he gathered that information, but he does remember that he read it in the waiting room at Doc Kimmel's office when he went in to see her about his sore toe. The jelly beans still call to him and he doesn't regret one bit that on Friday afternoons he celebrates life with a packet of the colorful confections. He always picks out the sour apples because he has a fierce sense of loyalty to classic flavors. Cherry, grape, orange...these are acceptable. Lemon pushes the envelope, and peach is just not done.

Gathering Ducks

I like ducks. Look at these little guys and tell me you didn’t at least think about cracking a smile.

What do you think they’re talking about? Maybe how good the fishing is? What are the best products to maintain their excellent coifs? 

Check out this snazzy little thing:

Thanks to Rex for snapping this.

Pretty incredible.

Ducks really don’t have much to do with this post, other than me giving the fleeting statement that I like for my ducks to be in a row. (Metaphorical ducks, not actual ducks. I don’t want to control wildlife. I’m team nature.) Right now my metaphorical ducks are hanging out all over the pond, just being ducks. 

The ducks I’m referring to are story ideas, projects, and dreams. I’m basically trying to figure out what I want to be when I grow up. Because I’m certainly not there yet. Heck, I’ve been sleeping in dragon pajamas for the past three nights.

I’m not even kidding.

I’m trying to figure out what I really want to do and where I need to focus my attention. The Ransom Series will always hold a special place in my heart. But it isn’t, and never has been, the only project I want to work on. Honestly, I’m struggling to write book three, Reign of the Judges. Supernatural fiction and fantasy require intense creative stamina. I guess that little duck is on the far side of the pond right now. While he is over there exploring the reeds and hanging out with turtles, I’m just going to spend my time with the ducks that aren’t so aloof. I can’t say at the moment what those ducks are, but they are currently making me happy and stretching me to dream bigger.

I think sometimes it's freeing to admit that we don't know what the next step is. I don't have to have everything figured out and plan every single aspect of the journey. The only thing I'm certain of is that whatever I do, I want to use my platform and my voice to remind you that you are awesome. I want to cultivate a sense of community where you can know that you're important. That you are valuable. I honestly don't care if it sounds cheesy or sappy. There is too much negativity out there and if a picture of me in my current favorite pjs can put a smile on your face, so be it. If I can throw a happy quote, a wish for a good morning, or pleasant thought your way, I want to do it. 

Because I believe we are all here for a reason. 

And we are all in this together. 

Having everyone know their worth is more important than any story I could ever write.

Now, if anyone needs me, I'll be wading into the pond and seeing which ducks have a hankering for some Autry toes.

Imperfections

1995 was a very good year. I was in eighth grade and editor for my junior high yearbook and newspaper. I loved it. Honestly, it was probably one of my favorite years of school throughout my entire scholastic career. Why? Because I was able to go to a class each day that I loved, doing the things I enjoyed most. I loved writing articles for the paper and cropping pictures for the yearbook. I also enjoyed the leadership role of being the editor. I worked closely with my teacher to double check proofs and layouts to make sure we were getting what we wanted. (Shout out to Mrs. Dendy! Twenty years later and you’re still one of my favorite teachers.)

It took a lot of work and effort for our publications staff to put out the Hitchin' Post and Hoofbeats, and I wanted the final products to reflect that. One day while going over a yearbook proof, I noticed that the publishing company had made a mistake. They had an image pointing in the wrong direction. So my teacher and I circled it and told them to reverse the image so it would look just like the many others in the book. Imagine my shock when the yearbooks finally arrive and I turn the page to see the “correction.”  

This is what the design was supposed to look like:

I'd also like to offer a shout out to Michelle!

And this is what they printed:

I felt horrible. It was wrong. It was a mistake on my watch. It wasn’t perfect.

I don’t know how many others even noticed the mistake. I just know that it bothered me tremendously.

Fast forward two decades later to a girl who grew up and published two books of her own. When a stomach bug/virus/inconvenience attacked this weekend, I decided I would finally get around to reading those two books. (Hello, unexpected downtime!) So I read Ransom of the Healer and Rise of theSeer. And you know what? I found mistakes. And I felt horrible. Or in this case, horribler. We could say even more horrible, but horribler just seems to sum it up better. And I wanted to pull each and every copy and shut the whole thing down. And I let myself hear the awful things I’ve been afraid of since deciding to put my books out there three years ago.

I am, without a doubt, my own worst critic. No one is better at tearing me down than my own thoughts and voice. And I don’t think I’m alone in that. I know there are more out there like myself and I just have to ask:

Why do we do that to ourselves?

Why do we kick ourselves for imperfections and perceived failures?   

Why are we so quick to notice what isn’t perfect without looking at all of the positives that got us there in the first place?

There is no one, not one single person on this planet right now, who is walking around as perfection personified. And I think we need to see that as a good thing. I think we need to see it as an opportunity to offer ourselves grace when we make mistakes. Because we’re human, and they are going to happen. So we have a choice to make.

We can let the weight of past failures keep us tethered to a moment that wasn’t ideal, or we can acknowledge it and move on.

Move on, my friends.

Pull an Elsa and let it go. (Apologies if you end up singing that all day now.) We are more than the sum of our imperfections and failures. To stay in that place of regret is to forgo future joy. There is so much more freedom when we just acknowledge mistakes as an opportunity to learn and grow.

I just thought someone else might want to hear those words. Give yourself permission to move on. And be kind to yourself. Life doesn’t have to be perfect to be beautiful.

To Boston and Back Again: A tale of travels from a self-proclaimed socially awkward introvert.

(Remember when I mentioned that I had several things written that I never posted? This is one of those. I'm tired of it looking at me with its judgy, unpublished eyes when I log in. So, here you go! Better six months late than never.)

In a house in the country lived a writer. Not a well-traveled writer, but one who hadn’t been on an adventure in far too long. When the opportunity to take a trip to Boston was presented, the creatively thirsty word worker jumped at the chance to step away from the ever glowing computer screen and meet new characters. Below is the account of this quasi impromptu trip.

Day 1:

I haven’t flown in five years. A three and a half hour flight seems like a great way to get back into the habit. (If only someone would invent a sarcasm font.)  The flight was very bumpy with quite a bit of turbulence. I found myself realizing more than once that I needed to get outta dodge. And by dodge I mean the metal tube hurling me through the heavens. It was horrible. Thankfully the view of Boston Harbor eventually popped up and salvaged what remained of my sanity and ability to retain my breakfast.

And then we started banking and the world shifted to an angle my brain did not want to process. I actually heard equilibrium laughing at me as it parachuted to the land where it belonged.

So what do you do when you finally touch down and your stomach is unsure which way is up? You head for Faneuil Hall! (Sarcasm font initiated there.) If you’ve never been there before, it is a gauntlet of pretty much any food you could ever want. We’re not talking mall food court though. The amount of options could have been intimidating, but I had already decided I would be adventurous. This is what adventure looks like to someone who eats beef maybe a couple of times a month:

After some much needed downtime, and by that I mean lying perfectly still for almost two hours, the earth was stationary enough for me to venture out again…just in time for dinner. We ended up at The Black Rose where a group of "slightly" inebriated folks were singing Irish ballads in the corner. The volume was stuck on an 11 and I didn’t think I could love it more, until things slowly devolved into an awkward and slurry version of “Teddy Bear.” You win some, you lose some.

Day 2:

I hit the streets alone and stumbled upon this:

They really don’t want their dogs to have any fun in Boston.

I’m just going to post my touristy photos here. I went to the New England Aquarium and may have smiled to myself at all of the parents wrangling kids while I was free to do pretty much anything I wanted without being responsible for anyone else.

Everything was fun and penguin filled, and then things took a turn.

I’m going to preface this by saying, no disrespect is intended in the following account of this situation. I highly doubt the authenticity of this particular man of the cloth. A monk had tried to catch my eye on Day 1, but I was all, “Oooh, Boston!” and I didn’t make eye contact. I was also with a 6 foot+ traveling companion. This day I was flying solo and the monk walked right in front of me and shoved something in my hand. I almost died. Three things happened at once:

1. He has a hand on my shoulder.
2. He is standing inches away from me.
3. He is speaking to me in a language I don't understand.

Flight or fight kicked in. No, I didn’t kick the monk. I guess I’m more civilized than I realized. He pulled out a notebook and showed me a picture of a temple being built. So my brilliant response was, “Oh. You want money.” Still no English on his part. He pulled out a notebook of the people who had donated $20. No way, shoulder toucher. That’s my lobster money.

At this point I want to end this confrontation at all costs. And by all costs I mean reaching in and pulling out a five dollar bill while this guy is leaning over trying to look in my wallet. Seriously. I hand him the five and he shakes his head. He then pulls out the notebook again and flips to the page where people have donated $10. The fight response finally kicks in and then I kick him.

Just kidding. I wouldn’t do that. Yet.

But I did put the amulet in his hand and try to grab the fiver back. Suddenly five dollars was enough of a donation for him. He smiled and went on to looking for the next philanthropist. So if anyone is interested, I know where you can purchase an amulet for "real cheap." I’ll sell it to you for a $10 "donation." 

After that I was peopled out. I spent what remained of the afternoon with a cup of mediocre coffee and Norman Rockwell.

And promptly fell in love with this print:

This post is getting a little long and we all know how fun it is to sit through vacation photos. I’ll wrap this up by saying, sometimes it’s good to get 1,500+ miles away from your comfort zone. Mine was a whirlwind trip, but I’ve been to Boston. I will always be able to say that. 

And if you open a pack of crackers on the dock you are guaranteed to have company...

Today is the day!

Toss that confetti, my friends!

Rise of the Seer is officially ready for purchase! 

Before I get into the specifics, I’d like to introduce you to the newest member of my writing team. Ladies and gentlemen, say hello to Ransom.

Now for a little Q & A on Rise of the Seer and how you can get your very own copy:

How can I get my very own copy of Rise of the Seer?

Excellent question! I’m so glad you asked.

You can purchase it here at my personal online store.

It is also available on Amazon and most other online bookstores.

Is there a Kindle edition?
Yes! You can find it here. 

I went to ____________ bookstore and asked them for your books, but they looked at me like I was crazy. Why would they do that?

People these days. Because I am an independently published author, I’m doing this all on my own. It would be magical to walk in and see my books sitting on a shelf in any bookstore, but that’s not where I am in my publishing journey yet. As of now, I will have physical copies of my book in Roma’s Books out here in Rockwall.  Local business, local author. It’s a good fit. They should be available there in the next few days. I also have my own copies to sell. If you know me and see me, I’ll sell you some books out of the trunk of my car. I’m not even kidding.

Why is the paperback so much?

Again, because of the independent publishing, I have to be careful with the pricing. This isn’t a mass production. Each book is only printed when it’s ordered. Because of the weight and length of the book, the bare minimum price I could sell it for logistically speaking, was only a dollar less than the purchase price. I promise, I’m not trying to charge an arm and a leg to make oodles of money off of you. If I lower the price, I’ll end up losing money with each purchase and I honestly can’t afford to do that. Book sales aren’t buying a vacation home or paying my mortgage, they are recouping the funds I’ve already invested into publishing two books.

Will you sign my book?

Sure! Because you asked. Just know that sometimes I get a little awkward and may end up writing things such as, Have a great summer!  Or things like Keep in touch!  And my favorite, A.C. Autry was here!

Why are your palms wet?

Sheer, unbridled terror.

My book club will be reading your book. Can we Skype for questions and discussions?

First of all, thank you tremendously. Secondly, I’m happy to Skype during some of the meeting. Just get in touch with me and we will work out the details.

What’s next in the Ransom series?

Book three is Reign of the Judges. I don’t have an idea for a release date. What I do know is that I’d rather not go through this publishing process again because of the numerous hiccups I’ve encountered along the way. So I’m looking into new avenues for the final books in the series. I have no idea what that will look like, or where it will lead. I guess we’ll find out together.

How many books will be in the series?

From the beginning I’ve seen this as a four book series. We’re halfway there!

Any final thoughts on this beautiful day?

Yes. I cannot thank you enough for your interest, enthusiasm, and encouragement. I'm just a girl who fell in love with writing and have been trying to keep it in my life in some way, shape, or form along the way. I don't proclaim to be an expert by any means, but I do expect to become a better writer with each subsequent project. This is me, doing the thing that I love and not letting fear dictate who I want to be or what I want to do. Be brave and courageous, my friends. And if you happen to be in the market for a fun weekend read, I have a suggestion:

Writing Prompt #3 and "The Week That Ate My Lunch"

Yowzah. That's all I can say about this week. Influenza B has invaded our home and it's taken down two of my people. Writing and social media have taken a backseat to supply runs, doting, and rest. Life is gloriously messy sometimes.

I haven't written my prompts this week, so I grabbed one from a few weeks back. It's short and applicable.

“If we were all forced to wear a warning label, what would yours say?”

Caution: Stay back 200 feet. Stay back 300 feet before meals are consumed.

And now for no other reason other than the fact that this made me happy, enjoy this unrelated photo:

Now it's your turn. What would your warning label say?

Weekly Prompt 2.154

We've made it to another Friday! It's the weekend and I've got a new stack of books to work through. That is my favorite combination. Speaking of favorites, this was my favorite writing prompt for the week. Post your response below if you'd like to create one also! Once again, this one is from Writers Write:

“Write a paragraph where a character apologizes without using the words ‘apologize’, ‘regret’, or ‘sorry’.”

Dearest Emily,

A cloud of discontent has settled upon our relationship and I understand that I am the one to shoulder this blame. I recognize that I have hurt you and I desperately wish that I could go back in time and put a filter over my mouth. Please understand that this mistake will never happen again and I will do all that I can to make this up to you. When I said, “You snore like a banshee,” what I meant to say was, “Baby, you’re so talented. I’ve never met another person who could sing through their nose while they slept. And to be able to sustain that intriguing melody all throughout the night is nothing less than a sign of greatness.” Truly, I bow to your genius and can’t wait to spend the rest of my life listening to your nightly nasal serenade. Do you take requests?

All my love,

Bill

Writing Prompts

Hold on to your hats, I'm about to tell you something without entering our share circle.

I enjoy writing.

While I wait for you to pick yourself up from the shock of it all, I'll just move this post along. I'm learning that there are things in this life that I don't care for at all. I'm looking at you, calamari, goat cheese, rooms without windows, folks who don't use blinkers, and crowds of people. There are also things I adore. Hello, hot tea, reading chairs, good books, laughter, stargazing, family, dogs sleeping at my feet...this list is extensive. For the sake of saving your eyes, I'll just let that end there.

I've recently discovered that writing energizes me. I can get absolutely nothing substantial or noteworthy accomplished during my day, but if I've added a few words to my book or worked on a short story, I will walk away feeling like I showed that day who's boss. I think we have different skill sets and abilities that make us feel fully engaged in life, something that takes living from ordinary to abundant in record time. I hope you know what that looks like for you. If not, why not make this the year that you discover what makes your heart light and your spirit zing?

I decided to really focus on writing this year to, hopefully, improve my craft and get back into the swing of things. Each morning I'm using a  writing prompt from Writers Write. I thought I would begin posting one at the end of the week to pry me out of my comfort zone. Somebody grab a crowbar....

Here is the prompt and my response:

“She knew about the strawberries and the vanilla pods, but she couldn’t remember why she needed to know.”

It tickled the back of her memory. The juicy red berries and the soothing scent of the vanilla brought a sense of comfort. In another life these meant something. In another life she would check ingredients three times before beginning to slice and measure, chop and prep. Not that she remembered that life now. Muddled thoughts ushered in frustrations and fears she never wanted to share. It was a weakness, a failure on her part, to admit that things were slipping. Things that should have a permanent hold on her, faces of loved ones, and places once known were slowly falling away. She felt the tears well up in her eyes as she stared at the kitchen counter with the chipped tile and dingy grout. Today would not be the day she let the forgetting begin. She cleared her mind of the jumbled confusion and reached a gnarled hand towards the basket of berries. If nothing else, her hands would remember. They would remember for her when memory faltered. Slowly, slowly, they took over and began to slice and create what she had forgotten.

Will You Be My Best Friend?

A funny thing happened to me on the way to February. I suddenly remembered that I had a blog. That’s me acknowledging the lack of recent posts, but not quite apologizing. Unless you want me to. All requests for apologies must be sent in writing and submitted to the address listed on my website. Wait a second. I have a website?! A funny thing happened to me on the way to February…

For those of you interested, I’ve got a quick Rise of the Seer update. It still hasn’t been published. I’m waiting…still waiting…on the copy for the back of the book. Those little words have to be just right. I’ve submitted suggestions and am currently awaiting the final product. After that I’ll see interior layouts and approve the cover. That’s it. I want to give a release date. I don’t have a precise one yet other than to say, soon. I don’t think there is anyone on earth who wants this book to be finished more than I do. When the publishing date draws close I’ll post a countdown so you can prepare for how hard to party and acquire the appropriate amount of confetti.

I approve of this level of celebration and confetti. 

On that happy note, let’s talk about becoming friends with books. As with most relationships and interactions, I know I don’t approach things from a typical perspective. And I can’t be trusted in a bookstore without a budget. Inevitably books just jump off of the shelves and into my hands. I’ve mentioned before our house rule is that no new books may be purchased if there is no longer room available on your assigned “to-read” shelf. Here’s a current look at my shelf for those curious:

Still plenty of room to work with!

Some of these books I’ve started and placed back on the shelf because I’m always on the lookout for the perfect book. I don’t know how it is for you, but when I begin a book I recognize that we’re going to spend some time together. We’re forming a relationship. The length and depth of that relationship is entirely up to the book. I really don’t have any control over it.

I will say that the last couple of books I’ve read have turned out to be acquaintances only. We hung out for a little while, but nothing progressed and they’ve ended up in my trade back bin. Usually within the first chapter or so I can get a general sense of how our relationship will proceed. I’m not often wrong. I will confess here, that if we are still on an acquaintance level friendship and I’m more than halfway through the book, skimming will begin to happen and sometimes, on a rare and unhappy occasion for both of us, a clean break will occur. Yes, a couple of books have ended up in the trade back bin before completion. When the relationship isn’t right, it’s best to part ways.

Sometimes though…

Sometimes…

Something magical happens in the pages of a book.

The story grabs you and says, “Hey, I think I know you.”

And as you read it the more you feel that pull, like this one could swallow you entirely…and you wouldn’t mind one bit.

A line grabs you and you relate to it on some cosmic level in a way that doesn’t happen all that often. The words wash over you and you never knew you needed them strung together in that particular order until now.

And then you realize that this book could quite easily become one of your best friends.

And there is no way this one would ever mingle with acquaintances in the trade back bin.

But you’re only 14 pages in, so you have to restrain yourself so you don’t appear too eager. And you tell yourself, “Play it cool, Autry. Play it cool. There’s a lot of story left.” But you’re already secretly planning the next time you’ll curl up in your reading blanket with a cup of tea and your not-yet-but-soon-hopefully best friend. Now, I didn’t want to say anything because we’re so early in the relationship, but I *may* have found another best friend. I’m hopeful that things will keep rolling along like they have for the last 37 pages. I know it’s early, but I’m tired of meeting acquaintances every evening. So if you need me this weekend, I’ll be getting to know this book a little more. 

I even gave this book a bona fide bookmark. No old receipt or meaningless scrap of paper for this new friend!

Notice the little glint of sunlight illuminating the cover? This means something. I know it.

Happy reading to you and yours, my fellow bookworms! Here’s hoping your next book is one you will meet again in another few years with just as much excitement and joy as your first meeting.

Rise of the Seer Update

I am happy to report that every line has been written, each word is in place, and all edits have been revised. Rise of the Seer is officially out of my hands! Let us all exhale. Or at least me because this story needs to be released so I can move on. It is more than time for us to go our separate ways.

What's left and when will you be able to read it?

Excellent questions!

Now I'm waiting for the interior layout and cover to be designed. I'm also waiting to see if there is one aspect of the cover that will be able to happen. Once I find that out, I'll let you guys in on it!
This process can take about 8 weeks, or longer if I drag my feet. Trust me when I say, I have no intention of letting that happen! I haven't felt the freedom to sit down and just WRITE since the editing and revising of Rise started. It's the writing that I adore and I'm eager to get back to it.

To answer when it will be out, I'm not sure yet. I'm supposed to hear from my design team within the next few days, so I should have a better idea of an anticipated release day. But, it is eminent, my friends! I think balloons will be involved. Or at the very least a confetti crown. Could one of my crafty friends (you know who you are) begin working on that? Thanks.

What am I working on now?

Here is the part I'm not sure about. While all of the Ransom escapades are fresh in my mind, it would be nice to go ahead and write the third book in the series, Reign of the Judges. It's currently sitting at a piddly ten pages. However, I might devote some time to short stories for a little while to get myself back into the swing of writing. Who doesn't love a good short story? Hello, lunch break!

Eventually I will move beyond the Ransom Series. As of now it will be a total of four books. After that, who knows? I'm just happy to be in a place where I have options available. Keep creating, my friends! Bake that cake, play that guitar, sing that song, paint that masterpiece, take that picture, perform in that play, sew that dress...just create. It doesn't have to be for a living. If that happens, awesome. That's great. Regardless of whether or not your creativity is tied to your livelihood, just find some time to do the thing that makes you thrive. And if you ever feel like sharing that creativity, I'm more than happy to show it off here. Seriously. Message me and we'll see what we can do. We've got this one life and it should be lived with passion and abundance!

Kicking Fear in the Teeth

All is quiet on the writing front. It’s not supposed to be, but it is. I’m supposed to be going over interior layouts and choosing fonts and designing what my second book should look like. I’m supposed to be going over marketing questions and figuring out, once again, if I’m working within the appropriate genre. I’m supposed to be talking about it, getting word out, and promoting, promoting, promoting this novel I’ve spent two years of my life preparing. I know these things.

So where is Rise?

The same place it has been for the past month. On my computer just waiting for me to take another step. It’s 99.9% finished. So why aren’t things moving along?

Because I’m afraid.

What if they rip it apart?
What if it's not as good as it could be?
What if I missed something?

I have a trip to Boston coming up soon. I don’t know what it is, exactly, but when I heard my husband was headed there for a business trip, I just needed to go too. After he booked the flight I had to go into another room and make myself breathe because I was suddenly overwhelmed with all that it would mean.

Flying in a plane with other people and no way out.

Wandering around by myself in an unfamiliar city.

Figuring out where to eat and being okay with sitting at a dining table alone.

What if I get lost?

What if someone tries to talk to me?

What if…

What if…

What if…

It’s exhausting.

I decided a few years ago that I will never let fear prevent me from doing something I want to do. There’s just too much life out there to experience to live it any other way. And while my fears may seem silly to others, I don’t need to have anyone else validate them to know that they are struggles for me. Don’t we all have that thing that hinders us? That thing that pops up just to remind us that we’re human? The thing that has the potential to keep us from truly letting go and thriving?

So you and I are going to take all of those “What ifs” and kick them in the teeth. Whatever the thing is that holds you back…or rears its ugly head just when you’re beginning to feel brave enough to try something new. We’re going to tell it to take a hike.

We’re not perfect people, so why do some of us try so hard for perfection? I think one of the worst fears we wrestle with is fear of failure. Everything we attempt, everything we want to try is polluted by the nagging doubts that want to defeat us before we even begin. If I happen to miss a word or have a double space in a sentence in a novel of 196,000+ words, it’s not going to be the end of the world. Really. Failure doesn’t have to be permanently branded across our hearts. It’s not fatal and it’s not some omnipotent word that gets to govern how we live. No way.

I’m shaking off all of those pesky “What ifs” and trying to move forward with Rise of the Seer. I’ll save my fears for things actually worth fearing. Like clown sharks.

A Little Bit Darker Now

Hello there! I’d mentioned a few blogs back that I would try to shift the content of this blog a little bit, and then I dropped off the face of the earth. That’s how it goes over here. I didn’t really leave the planet, but I’ve been working on publishing Rise of the Seer. It’s taken up most of my focus these days.

No, I did not get lost in space. Danger, fellow bookworms! Danger!

I also mentioned that I would always let you know what was for dinner. At this exact moment, I’m not sure. I can tell you that I’ve been obsessed with something I’m calling a “Green Goblin” this past week.

I've slayed many a goblin this week. Spinach trembles before me.

For those interested in an update, I honestly don’t have a definitive publication date as of right now. All I can say for certain is that it will be out before the end of the year. I have an anticipated release date, but until I know if that’s really possible, I won’t say when it is just yet. I know I’m doing all of this wrong. I’m supposed to build up a level of frenzied excitement in the months/days prior to the release, but I’m a new author trying to figure all of this out while still managing a home and family life. Suffice to say, I don’t always know if the day will be one where I get to sit down and focus solely on my work, or if I’ll have to drop everything and take a kid to the dentist to have a broken tooth fixed. Life. It always keeps us guessing.

Now that I have the **FINAL** copy (Can we please just pause here and throw hands up? Maybe shake or wave them a little bit?) of Rise in my hands, I wanted to say a few things about it. Keep in mind, as I was writing Ransom of the Healer I didn’t know it was going to be a book. That wasn’t the case with this one. I started writing Rise in 2013 and knew the basic plot of where I wanted the story to go. Things were mapped out and moving along. And then life happened.

Have you ever been in that place where you just don’t think you can handle one more thing? And then that one more thing happens anyway? That’s what last year looked like. The amount of pain and loss was staggering and I carried it with me daily. Grief and sorrow are heavy. So very heavy. If you’ve been there, you know. You know that it’s the first thing you notice when you wake up. You know how you think it’s lessened marginally, that you’ve finally started to heal, until a word or thought rips the wound back open and you’re right back where you started. It is a place where we function. That’s it. We’re not thriving there. We’re just making it through the day. That wasn’t where I wanted to be. I needed to get out from under the weight of everything trying to steal my joy.

So I went back to the thing that has always brought clarity and reprieve.

I wrote.

I wrote through the pain and hurt.

I wrote until the things that I no longer wanted to carry were there in front of me, on the screen, instead of constantly sitting on my chest.

Why am I sharing this? Because you’re (hopefully) about to read some of the words from that time. Rise of the Seer was exactly what I needed to work on while climbing out of the valley. It’s amazing how things work out that way sometimes, isn’t it? I already had the story in place, but after 2014, I had the emotion to add to it. If I’m going to hurt, there is absolutely going to be something beautiful to take away from it. 

If you are currently in a valley yourself-in a place you don't want to be- please, keep climbing. Keep going. I don't want to trivialize your circumstances or pretend to know what your struggle feels like. I just want to encourage you to take another step. You and your story are valuable. And your story isn't over yet. Just keep climbing. 

Authenticity and What’s for Dinner?

I am sipping cold peach tea, sitting here in my shorts and tank top, and have my office fan blasting on high. The only true indications that summer is almost officially over are that the throw pillows on the couch remain unmoved during the day and the fan is the loudest sound in the house. I don’t know about you, but I’m ready to get back to work. Today, anyway.

While blogging hasn’t been a high priority for me this summer, I have been quietly doing research on other blogs and social media outlets. Which reminded me, once again, why I’m not a huge fan of social media. There are some odd ducks out there. I wanted to see what the common thread was for the people who have bigger platforms and a larger outreach. The thing that I discovered is that those people tend to live life with their followers. I mean every aspect is potentially available on full display. If you wanted to, you could spend the day with them from their morning cup of coffee until the end of their twinkle lighted evenings, complete with an amazing sunset. Is that what we really want?

I also noticed a trend towards some people being more open and honest about the struggles or hardships they might be facing, but of course that is often accompanied by a picture of a perfect mantle display or a picturesque shot of a mug of coffee on a patio. Complete with an amazing sunrise. I have coffee mugs, and I have sunsets. I suppose I could let you see them. If you really wanted to.

This is me. Drinking coffee in my car in a safely parked position. 

Please don’t think I’m mocking them. Really. I’m not much of a mocker. What I see is that humans are drawn towards community. Even those of us who struggle with being around others. We still need that connection to other people trudging along, just like we are. That’s one reason I enjoy literature so much. Instant community. One story can take us to the same place, although our experiences there will be vastly different. But there are times when my nose is not in a book and I’m left trying to figure out what to say to others around me. For the most part, my blog is about writing and reading…and authory stuff. It’s my business…and I love words. Written words in particular. Sometimes I want to write the things I’m thinking about and they aren’t business related. This happens quite often and 

I’ve been thinking about shifting the content here a little bit. I can’t promise that we’ll spend the day together, but I can always let you know what I’m having for dinner. Tonight is meat muffins, baked sweet potatoes, and fresh green beans.*

This was actually a time lapse photo of Wolverine snikting the potatoes.
He's just so fast this was the best shot I could get.

It’s a challenge to find the balance between personal and professional. I don’t think every aspect of our lives needs to be on display for anyone to see. I want to live in the moments without recording them. I don’t want a backlog of pictures sitting on my devices taking up memory space. I want the memories. I want the experiences full on, in real time, in blazing color right in front of me. Not through a screen. But if sharing one or two of those moments can help someone find a connection that validates the intrinsic need to feel included, I can certainly manage that. Because at the end of the day, when the words are put to rest, it’s the people who matter most and the stories they have to share. It’s difficult to share those stories without a relationship. So, here’s to a new season of interactions and to seeing the stories of those around us. Because there will always be stories to share. 

*I always admire the people who follow the asterisk. In the spirit of authenticity, I should let you know that this is not a picture of my dinner. I started this blog yesterday and that's what I ate last night. What you see here is actually a picture of my lunch today, complete with leftover baked beans from Labor Day. Also, I've changed my clothes since yesterday, so I'm no longer in shorts and a tank top. So basically, this whole "authentic" blog is built on a premise of lies. I don't know what this means for us going forward but I'm optimistic we can work things out. 

I've Fallen Into Summer and I Can't Get Up

My dear friends,

I know that it is August in the year 2015. I know that it is sunny outside and that there isn't enough sweet tea in the world to combat the relentless display of summer the Lone Star is hurling down at the pesky mortals who reside here. I know time is passing because the sun sets and reappears a few hours later. But...I am trapped in the thick of summer and I cannot find my way out of the blur of days ticking by. And the heat. My goodness.

Lo, in a moment of defiance I wield my sword against the fiery furnace that will. not. stop.

Everyone together now, "For the honor of snow cones!"

It just so happens that this particular sword is super sour cherry and cream. If I've learned one thing this summer it is this: super sour cherry + super sour lemon + cream= my flavor for life. It's good to know your weapon of choice and learn how to use it well.

Another thing I've learned this summer is that Lewis is a surprisingly delightful traveling companion. He thought we should share a few vacation pictures to let everyone know we're still alive and well. I am under contract to agree with his promotional ideas, so here you go:

Just reading by the lake. He's an excellent page/acorn holder. 

I cannot with a clear conscious recommend playing Rage with a squirrel. An angry squirrel is a dangerous squirrel.

Lewis and I also looked into his ancestry, but those pictures aren't ready yet. He's excited to show them off though, so be on the lookout for those soon.

It hasn't been all fun and games in this vortex of endless snacks, late night page turners, and questionable dietary decisions (I'm looking at you, cereal for dinner!). I am still moving in the direction of getting Rise of the Seer ready for publication. It will be in the hands of my editor on August 31st. We'll then work through two passes of editing together to get it ready. And it may not look like much yet, but I've taken the first step to begin the actual publishing process. Rise is officially an open project now!

No turning back now!

I know I've not been as active on Facebook or blogging as much lately, but summer (mercifully) doesn't last forever. In just a few weeks the scent of sunscreen will once again be relegated to memory and hours of uninterrupted quiet will descend upon my house. Although some days I feel like it can't get here soon enough, I'm going to squeeze every ounce of adventure and rest out of this season. If I don't show up again by September, please come find me. I'll probably be stuck in a hammock with a snow cone.  

Yours until sweet tea runs dry,

A.C. 

I Stayed Up Way Too Late Reading But I Still Need to Post a Blog

I can't grammar today. My brain is not having it. Really. I tried to describe simple, complex, and compound sentences this morning and eventually just had to let Google explain things. And then I drank a large glass of sweet tea. It's not even lunch time yet.

Here's the thing...I stayed up too late reading. It pretty much looked like this:

  
Something happens in the summer. Working from home means that I can set my own hours and when I don't *have* to be anywhere at a certain time, things get a little hazy. So I was curled up in a reading chair with Grace in the Wilderness: After the Liberation 1945-1948 until one this morning. That wouldn't have been such a bad thing except that I was awake at 5 and thinking about Go Set a Watchman. Never, ever tell me that books are boring. Especially not today on such little sleep. I'm feeling a bit cantankerous. 

Unfortunately I neglected to post a blog last week...and the week before that, so I didn't want to miss it three weeks in a row. I wrote one for last week, but it never seemed to come together the right way, so I present to you the bits and pieces of what I didn't cut from the blog I never posted. If that didn't make sense, my apologies. Again, I can't grammar. Pretty much at all.

And now we rewind to last week...

June 8, 20015
It’s Wednesday again. I will readily admit that I neglected to post a blog last week because I was sitting in a canoe, paddling up a creek. I saw unexpectedly big turtles and a couple of egrets that made my breath catch as they took flight beside our trusty ark. In the interest of being authentic, I will also readily admit that my opinion of its seaworthiness faltered when a rather large water snake decided to swim beside us. I did lean over to get a better look and surprised myself when my only exclamation about the sea serpent ended up being that it was quite beautiful. My fellow passenger was more concerned about my inexperience with paddling and kept a weather eye to ensure that I didn’t inadvertently fling Nessie aboard our boat. I’m happy to report we kept our respective distances and conversed only in passing. Every snake is secretly hoping a funny looking creature floating in the water will tell them they are beautiful. Nature. Get out in it.

Notice the largish turtle on the branch. Squint. It helps.

Nessie is out there somewhere.

And fast forward to today...

That's pretty much all I've got for today. I think the best thing for all of us to do now is step away from this monstrosity of a blog and have another glass of tea, on the rocks, with a splash of lemonade. And one of us won't stay up so late next week before trying to write a blog...although considering the number of books out there, I certainly make no promises.